Start of 2023 🎬

I can never forget how January 2023 started for me. Most people were celebrating the new year, but I was celebrating my new project.

While working at HackerRank, I often found myself concerned with not having a dedicated product vertical to own as a primary designer. And December 2022 changed that. Starting January 2023, I found myself on calls with the CEO, directors of various departments, and engineers who were just crazy talented. And I realized very quickly that this was beyond what I could handle. But giving up now after struggling to find an opportunity like this was not an option. So I kept going, day and night, even when times got tough and I wanted to give up so badly.

Six months and many mistakes later, in May 2023, I did give up. More like, I had to. I wasn’t managing my workload smoothly, and the initiative was far too important. A more experienced designer eventually took over, and I completed the hand-off.

Fast forward to today; I stand on the brink of 2024, remembering the sabbatical I took in June to clear my head after an intense six months.

Sabbatical 🎼

The sabbatical period looked like a black-and-white movie in my head, with jazz playing in the background. I was a little frustrated with the sudden break and lack of hustle. I had to adapt to this new life. If I am being honest, it wasn’t that hard. I had a new and rather scary goal in mind, and that was to “apply for a Master's in the States” and, most importantly, “get an admit.”

With a renewed goal and a ton of time on my hands, I built a new routine.

1. Wake up when am comfortable (because I am a night owl)

2. Go to the gym

3. Eat healthy

4. Meet daily protein goals

5. Research for Masters

The process :!

In July, I took my IELTS and scored high. In August, I was researching schools for my Masters. This research was the toughest part of the process because it was overwhelming. I couldn’t shake this feeling that I was missing a college/program or some specification about the program. The need to be thorough was deeply rooted in my head.

It wasn’t until I submitted my first application that I could finally feel confident. I had completed all my LORs, edited my SOP to my best ability, received tons of feedback for these essays, re-edited repeatedly, and finally, completed the portfolio after procrastinating for months.

And guess what my portfolio was about?! The project that I had owned and considered a remnant of my failure.

Renewed confidence ✊🏼

While I was constructing the portfolio, I realized how proud I was of my work. Even if it took me a long time to design everything and the whole team was frustrated, I knew that my work included most of the things we deemed important at the time. I could also see how it would scale over the years.

The challenge was not that “I worked hard and have nothing to show for it,” which was a predominant problem during my time at HackerRank. The challenge was, “I have so much to say about this project, and the PDF is too long.” I had to shorten it over and over so it is to the point, tells the story perfectly well, and brings “WOW” moments for first-time readers to marvel at.

And finallyyy 🥁

Not to exaggerate, but receiving a congratulatory email was the greatest validation I could have asked for. I had a lot riding on this, and the “yes” changed my whole life.

I applied to two colleges for the spring intake and received yeses from both, including a scholarship from a program I liked. My best friend was on a call with me when I shrieked in delight after reading the email. This is something I will always cherish.

Quitting my job, for real this time :)

Not everyone would be lucky enough to be offered sabbaticals when you actually decide to quit without a backup plan. I certainly was. Thanks to some amazing people at HackerRank, a sabbatical was suggested to me so that I would have a fall-back in case things go south.

After having received admits to universities, I was contemplating whether to resume working or enjoy the time I have. I had grown fond of this break because I knew I would be hustling again in no time. So I decided to officially drop my resignation this time.

It was a lot more celebratory this time compared to the first. Thank you universe :)

Don't stop me now 🚀

With a new confidence level unlocked, I have applied to some more programs and will continue to do so until I reach the deadline on January 15. With the materials I have prepared after a lot of hard work, it’s almost purely satisfying to express myself in these applications and put my best foot forward.

There is no space for fear anymore. If I am happy now, it can only get better from here, right? I feel the worst of this process is behind me, and it is now time to embrace what’s to come.

I do sincerely hope everything goes well because this is a nerve-wracking experience and I cannot always predict what might happen. But I have the strength I need to push forward and good people around me to encourage me when I am on the edge of a cliff. (Not to jump off it, but to fly :))

If anyone is reading this now, I just want to say one thing. That dream that you have been wanting to achieve but didn’t quite make a plan to do so. Well, DO IT NOW!

Because life is ridiculously shorter than we realize.

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PS:

Today, I received news that my grandfather passed away this morning. While the clouds cried rain, I wanted to take a moment to honour the life he lived.

He was a flawed human, like all human beings. He was also a smart person who was denied the opportunity to make something of himself. I saw him repair intricate mechanisms in analog watches without prior education and fix cycles and motors with mere practice. He also understood and appreciated technology better than anyone his age.

We used to visit him when we were kids. He had a scooty and that's where I first learnt how to drive. I would carefully take his two-wheeler till the lake near his house and back. It's ironic how I haven't thought about it until now.

Be it due to poverty or mere circumstances, the generations who struggled before me so I could have the resources I have today deserve an applause.

I am thankful I got to meet you in November. Here’s to you, Thatha! You left things better than you found them. I hope you can rest peacefully now 🕊️